Christmas List

Commentary by Pete du Pont

Host intro: People are finishing up their Christmas shopping these days, and Pete du Pont of the National Center for Policy Analysis has a few gift suggestions in mind.

For President Clinton, some discount coupons for "Lawyers Are Us." I have the feeling he's going to need them.

For Al Gore, patience and a clone of himself. That way, one of him can quietly run for president while the other remains stuck in the vice-presidential wasteland.

For Bob Dole, the last laugh.

For Dennis Rodman, a new tailor.

For the Dallas Cowboys, a new pharmacist.

For the crazier militia groups, a remedial course in constitutional law.

For the star reporters of the national media, the surprise hiring of a bunch of conservative editors to go over their stories line by liberal line.

For Louis Farrakhan, a scheduling snafu that has him speaking to a B'nai B'rith convention.

For employees of the Departments of Commerce, Energy, Education and Housing and Urban Development: job retraining, help with their resumes, a nice severance package and a push out the door before it's locked behind them.

For Radio America, more affiliates for this show.

And for you, all kidding aside, peace on earth and good will to all men....uh, men and women....well, how about persons, that's it, good will to all persons. No, that's species-ist. Good will to all objects?

Anyway, merry Christmas.

Those are my ideas. And at the NCPA, we know ideas can change the world. I'm Pete du Pont, and I'll see you tomorrow.

Host outro: Monday, Pete du Pont will have some insights into the Russian leader Alexander Lebed.